Father's Day has passed, but it's still worth watching our own Parent Schmarent columnist Christopher Noxon telling a tale fit for father's day and any day for dads.
Sometimes my kids do things that:make we want to scream and then cry make my chest fell like there's a 400lb gorilla sitting on it
make it hard for me to remember my name never mind have a rational discussion
make me want to walk out of the house and never returnBut a minute later I'm laughing and can't imagine ever being apart from them.I think I need therapy. me too (5)
I hate hate hate hate that my wife won't shut up about her flabby belly or how grotesque her tits look because she's nursing. She's a mother. If it bothers her - fine! Do something about it! But quit bitching about it... I married her, not her belly or her tits.
I've spent the last three weeks busting my balls doing everything my wife wants, helping her at HER job, taking care of the kids, fixing everything on the planet, ALL of the cleaning, etc, etc etc.....AND I've spent the last three days sleeping on the couch. Haven't even seen a glimmer of sex in a month. I don't mean to sound "ungrateful", but I think I've earned a little "cuddle time."
My wife is overweight, yes...thank you idiot friend for pointing that out. She's also HOT in bed, takes care of the house, makes me feel great about myself, and she's an incredible wife.Your wife is hot, but you always bitch about how she never does anything and you never get any. I win.
Married 14 years, separate beds for 2 years, have not had sex since 2005, just shoot me now and put me out of my misery. I mean really, could someone blame me for thinking about having an affair?
I haven't looked at porn, masturbated, or kept any secrets from you for 65 days....and I have NEVER felt this good. God is good. So are you babe, I couldn't have done it without you. I look forward to calling you my wife. 33 days!
You complain that your fat,yet you polish off a pack of chips ahoy in half an hour. You complain that the house is a mess , yet you sit on your fat ass for a good 5 hours either watching TV or at the computer eating the whole time. You cry because you have no friends but every time someone trys to be your friend you talk crap about them. wife it's time to either fix yourself or get the F out.
Sometimes my kids do things that:make we want to scream and then cry make my chest fell like there's a 400lb gorilla sitting on it
make it hard for me to remember my name never mind have a rational discussion
make me want to walk out of the house and never returnBut a minute later I'm laughing and can't imagine ever being apart from them.I think I need therapy.
